Meet Chino and Chito

Because I am undergoing the phase of being obsessed of relationships and the lacking thereof, I have invented men in my life. Do not ask me why I have reached such state of desperation, but I think I may have failed to enjoy my younger years when flirtation does not appear to be such a daunting task.

Chino is a laidback guy, who likes animation and film editing. He prefers wearing t-shirts and jeans in the workplace. On weekends, he likes to watch (more like study) art films. He also collects graphic novels and plastic figures, but he will outgrow this eventually. He likes to drive around when there's no place to go to and when there's good music playing on his stereo. He also loves to go places he has never been before because he believes the world is as big as it is for all the people to see.

Chito is a stud, all wrapped in his glorious frame of six feet, two inches. He has the looks to make any girl weak on her knees, but he doesn't take advantage. He has this mystery and this is precisely why I like him. This need to figure him out like a puzzle. He likes to cook and plays guitar. As most tall guys are, he is one hell of a basketball player.

*Note: Chito and Chino are based on real-life. I am just too chicken to tell them up front that I like them.

Daily Grind

The constant and steady hum of the furnace kept me awake all night। I wondered how the night sounded back home in Manila. Were the crickets still chirping as they used to when Mother would make me go to bed? And I wonder if there are still jeepneys passing by, seeming to want to get home and give their aching feet some rest from stepping on the gas. Whoever wanted to become a jeepney driver must have thought it would only be about making oneself familiar with every street and corner. But no, it also calls for mathematical genius to keep an eye on the road while rummaging for change.

Now, why did I dwell on being a jeepney driver? No, i don't think I was a jeepney driver in my past life and I don't know anyone who was. Or maybe, the daily commute must have infused so much in the fibers of my being. Oh my. I did not just become so sappy about taking a ride to and from work.

Photographs

"To photograph is to appropriate the thing photographed. It means putting oneself into a certain relation to the world that feels like knowledge, and therefore, like power."

"Today everything exists to end in a photograph."
- On Photography; Susan सोंताग

Whenever I attend a wake or a funeral, I always find myself spooked at how alive these departed ones look in their framed portraits। Well, of course, that is precisely because they were alive then. But I think it's more than that. These photographs will forever show a person filled with life and dreams. Putting aside the sad note of such a tragedy as death, I think these portraits will be treasured more by those who grieve for their departed. Some even have these portraits made out for a size that can be placed in a locket, simply so they can carry their loved ones anywhere they go.

A keepsake of some sort
I will keep the edges
from being tattered
Use it to remember
you by the hour
and measure the
ebbing tides of Time।

It's just now that I remember my collection of pocket-sized photographs. These are either given by friends or taken (without permission) from their wallets. It was in high school when this craze of having your picture taken by a professional photographer began. Almost every girl I knew had her picture taken at a studio. They would intentionally make extra copies to give away to friends and admirers. And so, I ended up having pictures of some of prettiest girls in school. I was left wondering what I should do with them. I wasn't one of their admirers and I don't consider them as my closest friends back then. But then, I kept the pictures hidden in a box, together with my high school memorabilia.
After our graduation, I thought of these kept photographs and how the pretty girls in them now look like. I wondered what courses they took in college and whatever happened to their perfect smiles. Although, I never kept in touch with them, I knew that they could have easily forgotten me because I didn't give them my picture even during graduation. We're not exactly friends and besides, I don't need to establish my own fans club. But now that I think of it, I should have at least given my best friend a picture of myself.
Now that I think of it, I don't think I really did give a picture. And I also didn't get one from my best friend. This person I spent almost all of my time with back in high school has succeeded in leaving no trace behind. We don't even have letters. What we do have is companionship. We also shared some jokes and rides home, but we never took the time to make sure that we'd remember each other down the road. We just slowly faded away in separate directions and I don't think it's because of the distance. Sadly, it's something more complicated and bigger than the two of us.